I have to update from a computer at the fucking public library. How BS is that? My laptop is busted and this keyboard is so annoying and LOUD when I type. Ugh.

I have to make sure no one ends up seeing any Ana pics or anything, especially my mom. She could POP like a weasel at any second. I'm gonna try to check up on PrettyThin, but I don't know if I can.

Lately I've been checking the internet via Wii. haha. It's really hard too. You can't do much on it. Blah.

I've also been trying to read more. Maybe it'll help distract me. I just finished Shutter Island in two days! It's been forever since I've read that fast! I loved it. I only picked it up at the bookstore because I saw a trailer for the movie version. Check it out. I'm sooo gonna see the flick.

Also I HAVE to see Alice in Wonderland. Am I a die-hard fan of Tim Burton? Nah, but I love the soundtrack. Kerli's on there twice and once is a duet with Tokio Hotel! Yayzers.

I can't believe I binged today. So much reverse thinspo everywhere! I just have to be more conscious about it. This one girl in my 4th period is the ULTIMATE reverse thinspo. I might try to take a pic one day (no, I won't show her face) just to show you all. She's like a giant ball with feet. EWWW! She's also so loud and obnoxious. She's constantly got a giant bag of chips in her purse and then shoves them in her face during class. THEN she walks and talks like she has class. Like she's the queen of England. Please. The Queen is like Posh Spice skinny if you compare her to the chick in my class.

Keep strong. Think thin.

February Air

I haven't posted anything in ages. I feel lazy.

Binging... purging... binging... purging... that's my life. Boring and pathetic.

I hope I can pull a fast tomorrow. I don't know if I'd be able to stand myself if I don't.

Over winter break, three things happened: Christmas, New Year's, and my 16th birthday. I felt pathetic because I spent all three at home doing absolutely NOTHING. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go out to dinner?

Today our English teacher gave us this over-used 'inspirational' quote. I am my own worst enemy. Fuck. Everything seems to be my enemy. Eating. Not eating. Size 0. Size 12. Happy. Sad. Friends. Loneliness. I'm an endless cycle of depressed fat.

I'm about 107-108 now... ugh. If I reach 100 before February, I'll officially be 2/3s the girl I was exactly one year ago. Wouldn't that be kinda cool? 100 sounds heavenly. Beautiful. Perfect.

My opposite.

I'm just gonna go to bed now. It's only 9:30... but what else am I going to spend my time with? Friends? Hah, funny.

East Jesus Nowhere

Oh my god.

One of my best friends is moving. He’s originally from Brooklyn (we live in NC) and now he’s going back. I can’t believe it. He’s one of the few people who knows about my eating disorder, and even though he doesn’t think much about it, it’s still a comfort factor that he’s someone I can trust. Now he’s going to be miles away and my only contact will be cell phones and the internet. I’m super depressed. We’re texting (though my computer’s retarded and probably by the time I get this post up we’ll be long done with the conversation) and he told me he’s moving ‘cuz his family sold their Chinese restaurant here. Now they’re going back to Chinatown. Yes, he's Chinese, as you probably could already tell.

We’re gonna go bowling Friday. He wanted to for so long and things kept getting in the way. I’m gonna make sure I go this time. God, everything is getting fucked up. The best arcade in the city is closing; one of my best friends is moving (one of my others already switched schools); and I haven’t lost weight. I feel like crying. My friend (whom I previously referred to as David) is joking about it and doesn’t realized how upset I really am. Then again, how can he when we’re texting? Why does my computer not think that ‘texting’ isn’t a word? It keeps giving me that red squiggly line.

I think I’m just going to sit around and listen to depressing music for the rest of today. Oh- he also just told me that the arcade is basically moving across the street from where it originally was. Why the hell- eh, I’m to depressed to complain. Back to moping.

I need to fix the banner at the top. WAY too big!

Life Is A Show

Well, no one ever said it was a happy show.


Cassie Steele is so fucking inspiring. Even though she obviously didn't write this song, it doesn't stop me from loving it. Hell, Britney didn't write most of her songs.

I took the bus today to Wal-Mart to get some stuff, and there it was where I realized that there are some pretty damn repulsive people in my city. My city is pretty small, suburban I guess, and it seems like everyone who takes the bus doesn't shower. I was minding my business when a woman sat down next to me, even though there were plenty of other open seats, and smelled HORRIBLE. I almost wanted to vomit. Also, I felt like I was almost being squished because she was so big! God, couldn't she realize, one person per seat?

After a horrible day of binging and purging, my mom brought home a bunch of nachos for a snack tomorrow. Ew. My mom works on the weekends and leaves me home alone, so tomorrow, out goes the nachos. I can't take the bus tomorrow because they don't run on Sundays :( I tried to see if my friend *David would want to hang out, but he has work. Damn me and my inability to drive. I hate Science Olympiad because it made me have to quit my driving classes.

I need to study to retake my chemistry test. I got motherfucking 53. How the hell? I though I did a million times better than that. If I do better than my teacher will take the higher of the grades. You gotta love *Ms. Thomas.

Hello, World!

Hi! This is my first post here on this site :) I hope to update regularly.

Yeah, this is another pro-ana blog site. If you aren't pro-ana, then you might as well leave. I've been diagnosed with EDNOS... which, according to my mom, isn't too serious. Whatever.

For my online alias, I shall be known as Channelise T.I.P. It's all an anagram, if I were to spell out my last name, of my real name. First, last, and middle. I would like to stay anonymous from my real name though.

First day, so I don't think I've got much to say. I love music, if that's anything. Tokio Hotel, Sex Pistols, Britney Spears, etc. I know, it' a weird bunch, but what can I say? I love punk, emo, pop, rock, everything. Except screamo I can't stand the stuff. Oh, and Bill Kaulitz? One sexy, skinny RILF (rockstar I'd like to f***)

Movies are also wonderful. My favorites include Clerks, Moulin Rouge, Devil's Diary, Sid & Nancy, Gwoemul. I love sci-fi. I think I get it from my dad. I remember when I was in the fifth grade and so deperately wanting to see Predator. I thought it would be so cool; it was, but it was also pretty damn gory. I can't watch gore. I think it's the only thing preventing me from seeing Saw VI. That and crappy story lines.

Have you all seen Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance"? So weird. I love it though. There's also these clips where she's (obviously edited) really skinny with her spines sticking out. Is it just me, or has she lost weight since "Paparazzi"?