I have to update from a computer at the fucking public library. How BS is that? My laptop is busted and this keyboard is so annoying and LOUD when I type. Ugh.

I have to make sure no one ends up seeing any Ana pics or anything, especially my mom. She could POP like a weasel at any second. I'm gonna try to check up on PrettyThin, but I don't know if I can.

Lately I've been checking the internet via Wii. haha. It's really hard too. You can't do much on it. Blah.

I've also been trying to read more. Maybe it'll help distract me. I just finished Shutter Island in two days! It's been forever since I've read that fast! I loved it. I only picked it up at the bookstore because I saw a trailer for the movie version. Check it out. I'm sooo gonna see the flick.

Also I HAVE to see Alice in Wonderland. Am I a die-hard fan of Tim Burton? Nah, but I love the soundtrack. Kerli's on there twice and once is a duet with Tokio Hotel! Yayzers.

I can't believe I binged today. So much reverse thinspo everywhere! I just have to be more conscious about it. This one girl in my 4th period is the ULTIMATE reverse thinspo. I might try to take a pic one day (no, I won't show her face) just to show you all. She's like a giant ball with feet. EWWW! She's also so loud and obnoxious. She's constantly got a giant bag of chips in her purse and then shoves them in her face during class. THEN she walks and talks like she has class. Like she's the queen of England. Please. The Queen is like Posh Spice skinny if you compare her to the chick in my class.

Keep strong. Think thin.

February Air

I haven't posted anything in ages. I feel lazy.

Binging... purging... binging... purging... that's my life. Boring and pathetic.

I hope I can pull a fast tomorrow. I don't know if I'd be able to stand myself if I don't.

Over winter break, three things happened: Christmas, New Year's, and my 16th birthday. I felt pathetic because I spent all three at home doing absolutely NOTHING. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go out to dinner?

Today our English teacher gave us this over-used 'inspirational' quote. I am my own worst enemy. Fuck. Everything seems to be my enemy. Eating. Not eating. Size 0. Size 12. Happy. Sad. Friends. Loneliness. I'm an endless cycle of depressed fat.

I'm about 107-108 now... ugh. If I reach 100 before February, I'll officially be 2/3s the girl I was exactly one year ago. Wouldn't that be kinda cool? 100 sounds heavenly. Beautiful. Perfect.

My opposite.

I'm just gonna go to bed now. It's only 9:30... but what else am I going to spend my time with? Friends? Hah, funny.