February Air

I haven't posted anything in ages. I feel lazy.

Binging... purging... binging... purging... that's my life. Boring and pathetic.

I hope I can pull a fast tomorrow. I don't know if I'd be able to stand myself if I don't.

Over winter break, three things happened: Christmas, New Year's, and my 16th birthday. I felt pathetic because I spent all three at home doing absolutely NOTHING. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go out to dinner?

Today our English teacher gave us this over-used 'inspirational' quote. I am my own worst enemy. Fuck. Everything seems to be my enemy. Eating. Not eating. Size 0. Size 12. Happy. Sad. Friends. Loneliness. I'm an endless cycle of depressed fat.

I'm about 107-108 now... ugh. If I reach 100 before February, I'll officially be 2/3s the girl I was exactly one year ago. Wouldn't that be kinda cool? 100 sounds heavenly. Beautiful. Perfect.

My opposite.

I'm just gonna go to bed now. It's only 9:30... but what else am I going to spend my time with? Friends? Hah, funny.